Hmm hoho I'm back to what I am in my poly days. Hmm the same feeling is back. The days where I just slack around and move without ppl noticing me. Haha kinda fun though. Yea been pretty relax lately. Though life is missing something but I guess I'll get used to it. After all, I am who I am. No one will know my lifestyle better den me. Haha. Anyway, tml morning I'll be having basketball competition. Hmm 3 on 3. Well it's for 3rd n 4th placing. Shall do my best tml. Hopefully we will win and get 3rd. Haha cant wait for tml to come. All the best to team AFTC. Cheers!

" Love comes in many different forms. What is mine going to be? "

Love isn't abt the result but the process. As long as we can love one another wholeheartedly, it will be the best memories we will ever experience. It will be more worth it.

" New perspective in love. I've learn so much. "

Another quiet day. Hmm today just spend the whole day playing psp at work. Hmm well at least another day is over. Tml will be an off day for me so I think I can rest more. Hmm anyway last nite waited till 1am in the morning but still my phone was quiet. Hmm ended up very tired at work today. So I slpt in the class while waiting for time to finish work. Hmm hopefully tml will be a off which is worth taking. I'm really just letting things flow for now. It's no point forcing someone to love me when all it does was the exact opposite. Hmm learn alot though. Oh another thing, I think I'm really losing my appetite le. Nowadays can't eat much at all. I get full easily. Hmm somehow I feel it's time I stop being childish and be myself more. Maybe it will help better.

" Being mature is one thing. In relationship, I guess it's more abt giving in to each other and being dependent. "

Hmm what a quiet day today. Morning had my IPPT and I finally got a silver. Hmm it's also the first time I ran 10.min59sec for my 2.4Km. Hmm pretty happy about this. This shows that I really have improved alot since the last time time I took my IPPT. Next I wanna thank Ashley. Hmm if it's not for her, I wont be able to run so fast. Thanks for being my pacer for the run. Appreciate yur help. Hmm next, phone was quiet today. Well I guess I can only keep waiting till it will ring.

" Life has become too quiet without u around. I miss those days when we had so much fun. "

Hmm today will be my IPPT. Hopefully everything will go smoothly. Hmm hopefully my backache will not cause problem for me today. I must pass it not matter what!

" I'll be waiting for you. "

How can I make things possible? Hmm tough question for me. Well maybe it's time to try and do things differently. It's about time to stop giving trouble to others. Time to be stronger and work things out peacefully. Goals are set by people and are meant to be worked for it. Will there even be a day where all my troubles can be wiped out so easily? Although things have 2 side for each problems, it's always up to the person himself to look at things the way he prefer. Optimistic or not is solely base on the person alone. Maybe it might just be better if I look things at a more optimistic view. I guess it will make me a more better person as a whole. Sometimes too much changes is not a good thing but I think I can try it out. It might bring me surprises. Shall see how things go.

" I know somethings you may be forcing to not to understand but you will still understand it in the future when the time comes. "

Isn't it surprising for 2 total stranger to notice each other and started seeing each other? Hmm yea this is life I guess. Last nite I talked to girl. Hmm lately it's been just more of quarrel than talking. Okay I admit I am at fault too. Well I'm still learning. It's not easy to be an adult. That's one thing that is very true. As a secondary sch student, we always think of having fun but we really never expect what we will face in life. I didn't think abt my future b4 in the past but I guess I now know the pressure it gives me is not that easy to handle. Things like car and furthering my studies, all these cost money. There's installment for the car to think about. Not only that, petrol also cost money. Not forgetting the one more impt thing. Car insurance. Haha well it's goals like that which add on to me having to work harder and being able to provide a more comfortable life. It will be easier for me too. No doubt working will get tougher, but it's all worth. Sometimes this is what it means to live in Singapore. Standard of living is so much higher as times goes on. Well I guess I will still keep trying to keep things together. Be it life or love, I will do my best.

" Love does motive me and make me stronger. "

Hmm I wonder, how long was it since I last drank so much martel. Cup after cup, I just keep drinking and drinking. Somehow I just want to get drunk. Hmm unfortunately, I didn't. As usual, it takes more den just 1 bottle to get me drunk. Got home after that. Hmm reached home near 5am in the morning. Though I'm tired, I still got up early today. Well today doesn't seems to be a good day either. We shall see how later. If I have time later, maybe I'll just practice my basketball. Hmm shall make my 3 point shooting more accurate this week.


" It's all about the choices we make. "

What does a ring symbolizes? Hmm in my opinion, it is the love we share with one another. The ring that I have now is very impt to me. No doubt I may use harsh words, I still love her. It's the same no matter what happen between us. Last nite we quarrel over JH. Well it's more like I started the quarrel. Reason is still more of JH existence. I wouldn't mine if they are just friends but I just can't control myself to get mad over it. I gave my heart to her and since then it's a choice I made. I never regret giving the heart to her at all. Love is abt trust and I do trust her. Sometimes seeing her get frustrated over such problems really pain me too. I'm not sure if she felt it but it hurts me to see her upset. Of course I would very much like to help share her problems and help her pull through all obstacle. Honestly speaking, I wouldn't have endure so much if I didn't love her and I'm still enduring cause I just love her so much. I may not be the perfect person but at least I'm honest with her. I never lie to her cause it doesn't help to foster the relationship between us. For now it's really complicated but hopefully after everything is over, things will settle down and this problem will be solved. I just hope for the best.

" Loving you is something I cherish in my life for I really mean it. "

RCGC. Hmm I must say, it's quite boring but yet at the same time, it's fun. Well alot of work to do there and it's all labour work. Well today miss girl alot. Hmm though didnt sms her today cause of work but I still think of her. Anyway today is not really a good day either. Some unhappy things happen and I cannot do anything abt it. I feel terrible but yet no matter how I dislike it, I still have no say in things. It's been a long long day today.

" Why cant things be much more simpler? ~Loves~ "

Today is another day. Had lunch with Donald and Iskandar. After that I went to Lot 1. Went there to collect the rings. Hmm after that, went home to change and went to fragrant. Played ball for awhile then off to girl hse. Had dinner with girl and mei mei. Hmm her mum was nice. Actually offered help to wash the dishes but her mum says it's okay. Haha guess next time ba. When I am offically introduce as girl's bf. Haha cant wait for this day to come. Dreaming ba. Haha.

Hmm next up is secrets. Hmm everyone has secrets. Some are meant to be hidden for life, while some are not. Guess secrets are something we cannot expect it to disappear neither can we go around asking others for their secrets. Well secrets are afterall somethings that is meant to be told when it is, so there is no point in asking more.

" Somethings are meant to be ignored while some are meant to be pretend that I dont know. " - Quote of the day

" Miss you so much. "

I'm so scared. I'm so afraid I'll lose the fight and lose girl for good. Life is full of uncertainty. If only things will be better. If only he didn't existed. If only there is me and her. Wouldn't life great? I think it will be perfect. So confused now. I just wanna find a turtle shell and hide inside.

Today someone guy made me damn pissed off. Hearing his friends called girl his girl really make my blood boils. I would really beat him up if it is not for girl sake. I held back and try to keep cool. I really very mad. I know girl was scared but I'm really sorry. Hearing those words and seeing him really make me lose my cool.

" If only there is a better way to make her love me and only me. I know I am selfish too. "

Finally a long weekend. haha been so long since I can rest so long. Hmm shall spend this moment properly. Next monday onwards will be busy though. Got basketball training and till now, I'm hoping that I made it for team RSAF. Hmm shall wait for the call ba. If no call den I shall try again next year. Girl now in school and too bad she cant have lunch with me. Tonight she also got tuition so most prob tonight I'll be playing ball le. Hmm tomorrow will have game with some ppl at 369. Shall see who is stronger ba. Most importantly must not let girl feel alone. Shall give her the strength to stay strong. :) Last thing, I cant wait for sunday to faster come. Hahaha

" Missing you is ever so strong with each passing day. "

Happy moment never last do they? Somehow my happiness is always short lived. I thought things will get better but unfortunately, it's kinda complicated. Hmm. It's never easy ba. To be able to pretend to ignore things that you dun like and seeing the other person doing it. My mind is in a whirl now. Too much things for me to handle le but I'm not giving up for her. I'm fighting to survive and hold on. Wish things will be easier for me. Wish I can have my perfect ending.


" In the end, I still held yur hand and walk down the path of yur harsh road with you. ~LOVES~ "

" I'll hold you tight if you ever fall. I'll be there and support you. I'll give you courage to stand firm. I'll be your support. I'll never let you fall alone. "

" Words can never express how much I miss you. Words can never express how much I love you. I hope you can feel it with your heart. My love to you."

This feeling sux. Hmm I dunno how to describe this feeling but I totally dun like it at all. Hmm anyway great news, today CAT test I managed to clear a silver level. Hmm means if I maintain the same standard for my IPPT, I will pass with a silver. Haha cant wait for that day to come. Today also is the national day parade ceremonial. Hmm though it was a short parade, my best friend, Marian fainted. Good thing I caught her in time before she hit the floor. Well at least she is okay now. Looks like she must fall in from the outside rather than crowding around in the middle.

Now I'm just so tired. Both mentally and physically. Mentally tired with the presentation work which I have to present on Tues. It's not laughing matter. Last presentation kinda screw up so this time, I must not screw up anymore. Not sure why I am so tired lately too. Maybe it's cause of all the physical training in camp. Haha but that is not an excuse. I shall get stronger so that I can recover faster. NDP also coming to an end soon. Haha sunday will be the last and final performance and all my sat will come back to me. Life will resume as normal. Course will also be starting soon. Guess I wont be so free to blog when the course start.

Something personal. I still remember in my poly days, I had a gf and we were really happy together. But all these didnt last long though. In the end, she fell in love with a guy younger than her even though she said before she won't. We both struggle and drag the relationship for some time and eventually, I lost to the guy. Hmm I guess sometimes being young have its good point. Now being a working adult, I am able to financially afford to look after another person. My view on relationship also change. It's no longer like how I view it at my sec sch days. Those days, there were nth to worry abt. No need to be afraid if the other party cannot take it or if the relationship would last. Those days we all just care abt having fun. It's when I grew older that I realised it's no so easy to let certain things go. Maybe deep down, I'm still bothered by the third party incident. To have a relationship being ruin by another party is not something I can easily forget. It means that I am not as good as the guy and that I cannot keep the heart of my love ones. To lose her just like that also means that I did not do a good job as a bf. I failed in my duty to protect and look after her. That's why I'm so determined to give my best to girl. So I wont fail in my duty again. It really going to be a long and thorny path to take but I think I will endure through and walk to the end with her. That's one reason why I cannot let go of girl. Silly I may be but I guess sometimes silly ppl do have silly fortune. Maybe one day girl will realise my love for her is not a lie and accept me. Well hopefully it's this easy. But I know it wont be. Guess that's all for the day. Shall rest for now.

" I've been missing and thinking abt you the whole day but I didn't want to disturb you."

Hmm... A long lonely nite this is. Suddenly I just wake up to the sound around me. It's like I'm on one - third alert. Something just come across my mind. To girl, it seems like most words I say are meaningless to her but yet, all those words I've said are nothing but the fact. I love her alot. She means more than anything to me and to have her by my side is something I dream for. No doubt she does not believe my words, but still these are the fact that I can never lie to her. I dont just love her like that. My love comes with accepting who she is, her past, her present and her future. Like I told her, no matter what happen to her, I will love her and look after her. It doesn't matter to me if I am treated badly. I can even close one eye with actions I do not agree with her. What matters is I truely love her. I know it will be a difficult path but still I chosed to move on it. To gain her love is my ultimate goal. One day she will love me like how I love her. Till that day come, all I can ever do is give her my best and be there for her all the time. I may not be the guy that will fit all her expectation but I'll definitely try my best to treat her the best and treat her like a princess.
Afterall this is all that I can do.

"My love to you is never a lie and it will never be a lie, for I am not able to lie to you."

A heart.
I've given mine to someone I really love and care alot. Though it's just a heart, it represent my everything. From my promises to my duty to take care of her. It's all in the heart. However, no matter what she do, I can forgive her but as long as she don't break the heart I gave her. Once it's broken, it cannot be mended. I hope my heart will never break. I hope to love her for as long as she will love me. This is all I can ever ask for. All my promises I made, I have never fail them. I kept and follow it for I cannot lie to her. I will not and cannot lie to her. Even when it come to food. I love dried scallops but knowing she like it too, I gave mine to her. She is afterall a girl I dote alot and love alot.

"My life is all about giving the best to you."