I'm SORRY!

This is to someone whom I made angry today. It wasn't supposed to be this way.


Anyway, some updates. Just got into AFTC basketball team. Tues is the tournament and the opening match. Hopefully I can play under pressure and not burden the team. Been training hard these day. Hope all the training pay off. Joseph is also leaving for ROC tml. Hmm all the best to him. I'll work hard to win a medal and I will show it to Joseph. He taught me alot and help me improved and I'm really grateful to him to be able to make it into the team. Tml will be the NDP preview and after that, one more show and everything is over. Girl asked me to drink more water today. Thnx girl. I will drink more water de. Unfortunately I injured my wrist lately so better it heal soon and I can play ball without distraction.

" Life is all about living and living to the best."

Hmm time seem to past really quick now. Hmm wonder how my life will be from now on. Do I still walk alone or will my hands be held and walk with another person. All these seems so vague now. I think time will tell me everything I need to know and I will have to be decisive. I cannot drag things any longer. It will just hurt ppl around me. Sometimes no matter how hard things become I will still have to move on.

Time change and so do ppl. I too am no exception.

Giving up is not as easy as one think. I had a friend who just broke up with his gf today. He's telling me that he tot giving up would be easy but it was not easy in actual fact. Till now though his relationship is short, but still he cant give up. Maybe it's cause of the feelings involved. It's not easy to stop loving someone u like. Some relationship can be given up easily if feelings faded. However there are also some short relationship that are worth keeping and holding on. I've found mine and I'm doing it just that. I'm holding on no matter how tough it gets and I wont let go anymore. I wont let her go just like that. I will hold on to her and wait for her even if it means losing myself. This is something I know I can do. I'm no longer like the past when I am in secondary school. The old me is no longer here. It died before poly even stared and wat is left is a new me. I'm not sure if it's good or not but I will leave it to others to decide.



"My heart is only with you and only you alone."

Damn tired. Last nite NDP ended late again. This time it's later den usual. Hmm anyway, I just spend my day making myself damn tired again. Basketball the whole afternoon till nite. Legs really become jelly. Well my legs are really very sore too but tml is still another day of work and training. Guess I have to get used to it already. Tml will be another long day of work. Well hopefully tml got nth much to do so I can rest in class the whole day. Hopefully PT lesson will not be AGR again. Hmm and I hope tml will have good news. Maybe promotion or my IPPT test date is also a good thing for me. Wishing for the best now.










"Wind come and goes. Have I really become this wind or am I still stationary at the same point?"

Your last sentence. "Dun think so much. I care for u." It touched my heart. Maybe there will be hope. Maybe things might change. Hearing them really makes me feel better. Even if it is a lie, I hope u will lie all the way.


"Really find myself so much in love with girl."

So near yet so far. I really feel so empty inside. My heart is so empty. It not filling up no matter how hard I try. I am really a failure. No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough for all the ppl around me. I tried to smile and laugh as hard as possible today, but I cant seem to do it. Maybe I am losing myself. I dunno when I will lose myself but I hope it doesnt happen. I just want to be happy but will it ever happen? Will I find myself being the way I am in secondary school? Those were the time I am really happy no matter what happen. Optimistic was once something I once possesed. I lost it and I cant find it anymore. Pessimistic is now something I possesed. Confidence lost can hardly be gained back so easily. I guess all this really take time and I'll be trying hard to reach my goals.

Another boring day but it wont be boring for long. Going to teach tuition soon in another few hours time.


" I finally found the answer I am looking for. Just waiting for a chance to come knocking."

If love can be easily forget with all the pain and suffering I've experienced, it will really be a blessing in disguise. Be it happy moments or sad moments, each relationship is unique. Some may be sweet and romantic while others may be full of argument. One thing that cannot be denied is that there was once a time where both party really and truly love each other. Those were also the time where it is easily forgotten. Sweet things dun really last forever and forever is just a word to use to coax the ladies. Does forever really exist? I really doubt so. To me, every happy moment I had didnt last long. Even after the break up, I will still only remember the pain and suffering. Pain and suffering overpower sweetness and happiness. Bliss is a momentary feeling but not pain. Pain can be felt whenever something reminds you of the unhappy past one had. Once the wound is open, the pain will come back. However the most ironic thing about pain is, life is never complete if there is no pain in the world. Like Micheal Jackson. With his death, it pains many but still this pain make our life more colourful. Darkness will always come after light. So does colours. Where the bright colour end, dull colours will be visible. This is wat makes life meaningful. This is wat make us a person complete.





"In the end, I'm always waiting for something to happen rather than making things happen. Waiting.."

Days past and time is just crawling slowly. Been hectic lately. NDP parade has now progress to NE shows and soon it will be the actual day itself. Cant wait for it come though. Once it end, I'm going to have a few days off and finally I can really rest well. Now I'm also teaching tuition to the guys and girls in fragrant wood. Lately, a friend also intro me to Yiruma. A great piano player. His songs really soothe my mood and allow me to relax. Hopefully in the time to come I will have more free time and can rest more. Really tired. Need to get a break soon.