So near yet so far. I really feel so empty inside. My heart is so empty. It not filling up no matter how hard I try. I am really a failure. No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough for all the ppl around me. I tried to smile and laugh as hard as possible today, but I cant seem to do it. Maybe I am losing myself. I dunno when I will lose myself but I hope it doesnt happen. I just want to be happy but will it ever happen? Will I find myself being the way I am in secondary school? Those were the time I am really happy no matter what happen. Optimistic was once something I once possesed. I lost it and I cant find it anymore. Pessimistic is now something I possesed. Confidence lost can hardly be gained back so easily. I guess all this really take time and I'll be trying hard to reach my goals.