I dun care anymore. Period. Really very tired. Very irritated and very FAN now!!! Just wanna be left alone!!!

Finally managed to squeeze sometime to blog. Been real busy with studies lately. Almost every week have test and exam. Well at least life is moving on. Though times I do feel lonely. Of course come Nov 16, I'll be staying in. Guess that's when life gets more tough. Now suddenly I dun mind being send oversea for detachment. 2yrs is the longest and I do hope to go US for my detachment. 2yrs there will definitely change alot of me. Next thing is volleyball. Joined the tournament in camp. Won the first match. 2 more match to go. Cant wait for it to end. Hope can get 1st or at least 2nd. Well back to studying le. Alot of things to learn now. Must pass out from camp successfully. Jia You Markie~~~ Haha.

I am no one but a person trying to find something meaningful for myself to live. I long for love but I know it cannot be forced. I long for peace yet it's so hard to achieve. All I want in life is nth but a simple world to live in. A world where I can be love and I can be myself at ease. Nothing goes to the way I've planned it to be. Always facing the burden and struggles of being alone. That's me. That's my life now. It's messy and yet no matter how hard I try to clear things, it just get even more messy than it already is. Is what I ask for very hard to achieve? Can't I for once just find someone whom I can settle down with? I planned to start a family but yet in this cruel world, I'm not given a chance. Is it so hard for ppl to love me? Am I too difficult to understand? Or is it because no ones understand my meaning of simple life? I tot maybe sparks might fly in camp but I guess I'm just too naive? Perhaps I am. Perhaps me being simple is a naive thing. I tried. I failed. I'll just keep waiting for the right time to appear. Loving someone is not an ez task for me. Till now, I still can't figure out why husband and wife can be together for so long. What keep their love going? Can I also achieve those love? I guess only time will tell.

" Just wishing for a simple life and a family to be with. Is it so hard to achieve? "

Hmm. It's her birthday today. Haha well did celebrate her birthday with a surprise. Glad she enjoyed herself. Today course started with a long module. I shall try my best to remember all though. It may be a long module but I believe I can handle it. Lastly, happy birthday again. Though I know she will never be able to view this blog. Haha well let's just be happy here will do. I guess I shall be going for it soon. Wish me success.

" I'm starting to think of the possibilities that might happen. "

haiz... sian. Today I just sprained my left ankle. Doubt for the next few days, I can train nor play basketball. Sad. Hopefully it will recover soon. Anyway tml will be the posting day. Haha hope I get into a course I like. Well all the best for tml I guess. Excited.

" Injured like hell. Hope I can recover fully soon. "

Isnt if funny how love works? Sometimes it's just a thin line between things but yet it can do so much wonder. Cherish is something I learn from love. Something that has a deep impact on me. Yea so wat if I'm single now. I never stop to look for another opportunity. No doubt love dont come so easily, I believe my time will come. It's nice to see couple loving each other. It's not wrong to fall in love either. We all have someone special in our world. Even if u may not meet each other now, eventually u will meet her someday. Life is great lately. Everyday just going down for jogging really keep me fit. Training to maintain my fitness has already become part of my job scope. Well afterall I'm a regular already. No more NSF. So fitness is a must to maintain. Who knows, I might run marathon someday. Haha it's all mind over body.

" Wonder if she knows what I am thinking about now. "

Hmm just came back from another 4k jog. Wat a windy nite. Hmm now life is going on fine. Despite being single now, I'm moving on. No more clinging onto the past anymore. We all grow up and from the things that happened, I too learn somethings. Somehow, I'm kinda addicted to jogging already. Haha since course starting soon too, I guess I'll be spending more time on jogging instead. Of course I'll still play ball. Haha no matter wat, I must maintain my fitness and hope to lose more weight. I must become more slimmer. Haha basketball too, I must improve more. Guess that's life and goal for me now.

" No longer the same old me. A new beginning for me has just started. "