Another day has past. Thought morning was a surprise but it turn out not to be. Well let's hope tml is a better surprise. Time to rest now. Very tired. Life is never the same anymore.

Breathing difficulty. Yes I'm experiencing this and I still go down and play ball. Am I looking for a way to shorten my life? Hmm maybe yes maybe not. I didnt wanted to go down today either but I went down for another reason. Well halfway during the game I do feel hard on breathing but I dun think it matters at all. The most I collapse and die? Hmm not a bad idea. Well dieing is also a matter of time. Sooner or later I will have to leave this world. Let this come naturally is the best way. haha but life really is different now. Not as carefree as I used to be and neither do I find things interesting. Everything has lost it meaning and seems boring to me already. Life is as stale as it gets. Still a smile is all I can put up infront of others. Other emotions will just have to be put aside and let it be left there unattended. Life is nothing more den just living it day by day. I shall try to find my happiness in living as days pass.

What have started have to end somehow. Things have finally come to a full stop. Cant say much though. At the very least there is no regret.

Decision making. Never a simple task but yet never an easy one either. Life is so funny. When u least expected it things will always happen to be nice. Once u have it, things doesnt go the way u want it to be. Friendship and love, it's just a difference of a thin line. Sometimes it's difficult to differentiate it but sometimes it's too clear to be seen. I've been trying hard but sometimes trying too hard also no use. Wat is meant to be yurs will definitely be yurs but if u force on something that is not mutual, things will never go well. Friends and love is the one thing we all cannot do without. Yet it is also the hardest things to handle well if one cannot be decisive. Things change and ppl change. I've change but it doesnt mean I am different from the past. Life is just too messed up now and I'm really just trying to make things rite. Be it love or friendship or sport, I'm doing my best in trying to juggle them well. It's not like I am a superman. I too have my limits. I'm already there le but yet I'm still struggling to hold on and hope for the best in life. Even if I have attitude, it's not like I wanna show it either too. If ppl can show their attitude and I have to bear with it, den why cant I show mine? Why ppl cannot accept my attitude. Life is so unfair but I already know that. Life now is as plain as it gets and I just hope life will get better as time pass.

Choices, it's not something that is easy to make. Afterall these times, maybe I too should make my choice and come to a decision. It's never easy to make a decision like this but I think somehow or rather I still need to come to a conclusion. Painful choices or not I guess it will ultimately be up to me to decide. One thing is for sure, things are no longer the way they used to be and I will have to live with it.

NDP today. Nth much left. Ran to 3 different court to find the others den played so game. So tired. haha now at Joseph house think going to play PSP. Finally in another abt 30 min time will be 1 mth le. Hopefully there is more to come. Haha time to PSP le. Guess this is where I stop ba.

Yesterday was another boring day. Time is wasted by the commander today. End up finish work late again. haha after work, headed to CCK straight to pass Raymond his hard disk. Unfortunately, my best friend fell sick. Poor him. Haha lately been playing PATAPON 2. Haha so fun. Managed to unlock most of the char. haha cool sia. I'm starting to get addicted to it le. haha and link play is really damn fun. Played with Joseph for 2 hrs plus just now and it was great. haha tml will be another day of surprises. Hopefully no bad surprises will happen to me. Haha wat's left now is TOTO. Dunno if will win any money or not. haha played ball today. Performance was slightly better den before. Hopefully I can reach to a greater height.

Finally, yesterday was my graduation day. I finally leave NGEE ANN le. haha really was a hell place for me. I'm glad I survived there. Alot of things happen yesterday. Waited for 1 over hr just to have my name called for me to go up stage and collect my diploma. Den had some pictures taken with my classmates. After which, lunch at Jurong Point. Ate buffet and it's really filling. Haha ate till 4 plus. No need dinner already. Reach home about 7 den when over to girl hse and cab her to vista point for her dinner. As usual, basketball next. Play a few matches. Won most of them and met up with Joseph for awhile. Talked abit while walking to vista point. Called girl while on my way home den poof. lol I slpt early cause I have NDP rehersal later. Now eating my breakfast. Will be leaving home soon though. Bored. haha

Hmm wat a day. Today never meet girl at all. In the end she cant make it for dinner. Well guess next time ba. So far I'm still not tired. Though I did slp but it's only 45 min. I'm still not hungry. Is this insomia? haha really at a lost now. haha one thing I am sure, I dun have any strength left. Now walk also feel that my legs are quite jelly. Maybe becoming a jellyfish le. Haha. Shall blog again later if I cannot get to slp. Just now watch Michelle and Shawn wedding. So sweet couple. How I wish my life can also be as happy and sweet as them. Haha well dream can become reality. Who knows wat will happen next. haha life is full of surprises. Everyday is a new begining. haha shall just live day by day and be happy. This will help me reduce my stress ba. haha hope so ba.

Wee. Haha in another 2 hrs time, it will be exactly 24 hrs of no slp le. Funny sia. Dunno y even though I never slp for 20+ hrs, I dun feel tired at all. I can even still play ball. Today or should I say ytd, woke up at 7pm. den when out to play ball. Hahaha den afterwards I went home without eating dinner except biscuit. Den surf web and stone till 5am and I went out to Yew Tee. Haha went to join my old friend for breakfast. Den accompany him to CCK polyclinic. He got depression and couldnt sleep for 2 days le. Poor guy. After that I went to CCK LOT 1 to meet Raymond. Haha went to his hse afterwards and played PSP. That Raymond is a pig lo. Keep slping den ignore me. So i played his computer games till 3pm before making my move to go home. Was suppose to meet girl for lunch but in the end she say her sis order le mac so in the end never meet for lunch. After leaving Raymond hse, I went straight to fragrant. Haha play a little ball and I'm still not tired at all. Weird? Quite, haha I expect myself to feel slpy but I didnt. Came home not too long since the rain started pouring down and here I am blogging now. Haha. Wonder if I still can slp tonight. Who knows maybe I still cant slp and I might even break my own record. No slp for 48 hours? haha see how ba. Well will be meeting girl for dinner later. So till den, I doubt I will feel hungry either. haha I think I am becoming Xian. haha.

Suddenly I feel so useless in basketball. I've been missing alot of shots for quite sometime. All my 2 pointer shots have been very bad lately. Not as good as I used to play le. Guess it's time to go back start training with all my skills. Today match was very bad. Feel tat I cannot do much to help the team at all. Though I may still can shoot 3 pointer but it's not good enough. Lay up also get rejected. Wat else can I still do? I trained shooting for a long time and this is my only means of helping the team. Hopefully I can get my skills back. I must admit I havent been training ever since I got enlisted. Now there is time for me to train. I guess I can train with all my might. Hopefully I can acheive my target.

Is basketball really so important? Y do I like to play basketball so much? I know my shooting is not as good as other players. I know I am the weakest player in Zi Hai. Is it necessary to be better den me? To be honest, I may be a shooter in the team, but my shots are not always 100%. Alot of times, I based on the feeling I have in court. My shooting is never 100%. Mood play alot on my shooting. When I am unhappy as in being a little angry or jealous, I will tend to shoot better. When I am emo, I tend to miss most of my shots. I guess I was kinda moody ba. I mean when I saw her just now, I was really very happy. But she keep ignoring me. At first was emo, but den emo also doesn't solve anything. Being ignored le, wat else can I do? Might as well focus on the shots I am practising. To be frank, I only practiced shooting 3 points today. Though most of it I managed to score, it's still not very good ba. But is it so important to win me? I trained hard for months before getting to where I am now. I started with missing all the shots and slowly I managed to shoot better. Training maybe important. But never over trained. Everyone has their own physical limits. Over training will only make matter worst. I also dun wan to see her get injured further. Tml I will still do my best. I will still respect my opponent and give my best tml.

Another long day today. Time seem to pass so slowly today. I'm not sure y but maybe it's due to my mood ba. Today isn't a perfect day. Did something wrong last nite and now I'm being punish ba. I dunno y am I always like this. Making her upset or angry. I know alot of times I am the one who started starting all the trouble and in the end, I made her mad. Wat's wrong with me? Y do I have to do this. Sometimes I'm really is an idiot. Or maybe I am always an idiot. Maybe ba, if not how can I make her so angry so easily. Useless me. I should stop making her angry le. From now on I will try my best to make her smile more. Seeing her smile, my mood will become better. How else can I say. She is everything to me. She is important to me. Far more important den myself. That's how much she means to me. That's where she stand in my heart. Some may not think much of this but to me, it's really important. Regret is something I never want to experience anymore so live life with no regrets. Cherish and treasure those around u before u lose them.

Today, good things happened and there is also bad thing that happen. Starting with the bad one first, today my camp has officially been upgraded to orange level. Swine flu or also known as H1N1 is currently becoming more terrible than imagine. Who knows maybe it could even be worst den SARS. Those were the time where we get to skip school easily. But those times were also one of the worst time. Everyone fear for their own health. Although for some, they dun really care. But a life is a life and it's something that can only be given to you once. Once u lost it, it will be gone forever.

Today is also kinda nice to me. My girl was really sweet to me. News abt next monday being an off day and having my leave approved by the section head is really good news. Yes, next friday is offically my Graduation Ceremony. Offically getting my Diploma Certificate le and it will be the last time I will be going back to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I must say I finally waited for this day to come and it has arrived. haha now I just hope for things to get even better and life will be much more complete and happier. Love make things work out well and this is something I personally find it worth the effort. Tml will be another long day. Hopefully my injury will have been recovered by then. Guess it's time for me to slp le. Things will work out fine. I believe in it.