Hmm.... been some time since I last blog. Should say I have been kinda lazy... Why is everyone looking for the one for them? I guess this question have no definite answer ba. For all I know, love is something mysterious, something not that easily understand and it's full of up and down. Lately, I realise that some of my friends just broke up with their gf. Reason? Some was cause of 3rd party but come to think of it, I think most of the break ups are due to 3rd party. Been out drinking with my friends last nite. Open 2 bottle of martel. Guess we really wanna get drunk but unfortunately, we weren't. Back to the topic, I too often keep a look out for the one for me but up till now, it's still futile... I remember someone told me that if u like a person, be at yur best infront of her. Show her yur best side and most importantly, have confidence. Up till now, beside Shufang, I tried to love another person but in the end, things just fall apart. All these while though I may look okay, I too feel the loneliness a guy would feel. I just cant help it. Though with the aid of work and PSP, I am so far able to avoid it but for how long, it still remain unknown. Guess I am still unable to face the fact that I lost someone I thought we would be able to last together for a long time. Though I really have forgotten abt her, I'm still hurt despite time being able to heal all wounds. I know myself too that I do not have the looks and neither do I have a nice figure, but does all these really matters? Shouldnt one love another for their character or personality? To me, the surface doesnt matter. What matters is that I must be comfortable when I am with her. But it's hard. Hard to find someone that will accept me for who I am. I am afterall someone with plenty of flaws. Hardly is there any good points abt me that I can think of. But life still have to go on and I just feel out of place. Cause I am kinda anti-social?? Somehow I think I am a little anit-social. I just dun feel like a grown up at all. Soon I will hit 20 but how will life be? How will my future be? All these questions I do ponder over it but yet I still lose to my greed for fun. I just cant seem to concentrate and yes I do noe my goodbros are all very concern abt me. Maybe I should really buck up and be somebody instead of a nobody. School starting soon and I'm kinda nervous. There's just too much for me to face rite now and the worst is that most of the time I am alone to face it. Hopefully someone will come into my life soon and share this burden with me or maybe give me some encouragement. I guess that will be sufficient. Hope to behave like an adult. I guess that all I can wish for. Happy early 20th b'day.